Sorry seems to be the hardest work
by marget20
Summary: After firing Ste from Chez Chez Brendan becomes to realize that he can't forget about Ste. Unfortunately, Ste's got a new boyfriend now. With Cheryl's help Brendan arranges a meeting with Ste at the flat. Can he convince him to get back together?
1. Chapter 1

**This is just to cheer up those of you who can't wait for Stendan reunion ;) Just like me...**

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><p><strong><span>THREE MONTHS LATER AT CHERYL"S<span>**

I turned around and there he was. Naked. Completely. He ain't shy, that's for sure. I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to come up with the lamiest of excuses to get out from there. I should have known that coming here wasn't exactly the wisiest thing to do.

"What are you doing?" I asked him low but angry. He was just staring at me making his way towards me. Slowly and deliberetely. I swallowed and ducked my head to the side feeling my cheeks going red. Then he stopped right in front of me, inches from me. So close. I could feel his body heat. He dipped his head a bit to face me.

"You dont like what you see?" He asked intimately. His breath was burning my skin, making me even more angry at him. I looked him in the eyes.

"You're pathetic…" I told him firmly.

"You like it though…" He approached me a bit frustrated. "…looking at me" He finished.

I wrinkled my forehead avoiding his eyes now, inhaling deep. I didn't want to be there with him anymore but I couldn't take a step to go away. I couldn't talk. I was barely breathing. I was barely remember to breath actually. It's gotten hotter in a second.

"Stephen" He said playfully stroking my hair. I pouted my lips at his gesture determined to not let him know he got to me.

"There's plenty of things I can come up with instead of standing here, Stephen." He whispered into my face. He put his finger under my chin to make me face him. I felt his thumb touching my bottom lip. I bite on it and ducked my head getting free from his touch.

"Yeah? Then I recommend you to put some clothes on before Cheryl's back." I turned around with every intention in the world to go away, but he held my arm. Next thing I remember was that he was kissing me trapping me in his arms. I couldn't get him off me even if I tried.

The thing is I didn't. But I didn't respond to him either.

He pulled away looking at me. I kew he wanted my invitation, my permission. He seemed more desperate with every single second without my reaction. "Say something…say something" He exhaled heavy kissing my forehead.

"I can't." After a while I managed to answer. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. His hold on me tightened as he pulled me closer to him so my face was in crook between his arm and neck.

"I love you, Stephen." He whispered to my ear again and I put my hands around his back to hold him. I kept crying in his arms. He was stroking my back to calm me down and suddenly I felt us to move in some direction. When he pushed me on the door of his room locking us up inside it was too late.

"I can't, Brendan" I said weakly when he started to kiss my neck and cheek. Before I realised we were kissing each other. But not like wild animals, no. That was firm but sweet. Simply beautiful. Tender and erotic. Passionate. All elements that make a kiss worth it. He cupped my face with his hands. Mine were wandering across his chest, back and bums.

"I want you." He started to unbelt my trousers and rolling up my t-shirt. I kew he wanted me. I could…feel. He was rock hard. That was…a turn on. He was touching me through the material while kissing my neck. I put my hand on his shoulders encouraging him. Then he pulled me to him turning me around and throwing me on his bed. He climbed on top of me, each leg above my sides. Kissing. A lot of kissing. And undressing.

"I'm sorry." I spitted out when I got a chance. Well, when he was kissing my jawline instead of my mouth. I needed to tell him that. I didn't know why. I had no intention to do it until now. His moves stopped. I've frozen. I just felt his breath on my chin and neck.

"I'm sorry, too." He exhaled heavily. My hand found a way to the back of his head and I put my fingers through his hair.

"I missed you, Brendan." And then I kissed him and he kissed me. We were together again. Familiar scent and motion. Similar impressions, feelings. Same heat. Same fever. But all double-powered. Nothing mattered again.

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><p>Afterwards, we we were laying in my bed. Stephen – on his back watching a ceiling. Me – on my stomach with my head on my arms. But close. So close my face was inches fom his. I was watching him. Enjoying him. Making this moment last as long as possible.<p>

"I have to go" He said turning his face to me.

"Mhmm." It was all I managed to respond. I knew he has to. To his boyfriend.

Still I got a few minutes to watch him dressing up. I loved to just look at him. His profile. Well, other parts, too...

"Are you mad?" He asked me when he was practically ready to go.

"Nahh" I shook my head sitting down on my bed but avoiding his eyes. 'Yes' I thought.

"Sure?" He asked. What he wanted me to tell? The truth?

"Sure" I anwered glancing up at him. I didn't have any right to make him stay, did I? He gave me as much as he could, I quess. Even more. At least for now.

"Alright, see you." He left me alone. I looked up at the door that he closed a second before and I asked myself when from a preacher I became a prey? Honestly I keep thinking about it all over again but I can't remember any crucial moment that made me love him so much. Danny's murder? Nahh. That was a result. Then when? Obviously not when I punched him for blackmailing me. Maybe it wasn't any exact moment. Maybe it's more about why I love him and why I can't forget him? Then why? So many flashbacks of us talking, him smiling and driving me crazy. But you can't really get to know why you love someone, can you? Because love is madness, they say. Doesn't need a reason. I think it's true.


	2. Chapter 2

**I thought that this story was more like oneshot but I know that there are some people waiting for „to be continued" so I wrote it for you guys. Hope it's fine and not fluffy… Am I the only person who CAN NOT wait for Ste and Brendan reunion? Know, it's a stupid question:)  
><strong>

As I walked down the street back to mine I tried to make up some believeble excuse for Ally.

There's no way he's gonna let me get away with leaving him on his own for the whole evening. So, maybe Amy and the kids' unexpected problem? Nope, he lives too close. Had to work until late? Maybe, yeah…I quess it's alright. I can't believe what I did…and what am I doing now? Sleeping with my ex and lying to my boyfriend. How could I? I think I'm more mental than Brendan….I need to take a grip. It's not like I'm gonna do it again, ever. That was a mistake and…I would never have cheated on Ally if it wasn't for Brendan making this trap-meeting. Right? I'm a trash. But I don't want to loose Ally. I'm not gonna tell him. That would be over. Surely. He's such an honest, reliable guy. I don't deserve him.

I opened the door to my flat and entered inside. Amy sat with Ally on the couch. They were watching telly together.

"Hiya." I said trying to sound as neutral as possible. Ally didn't say a single world, he didn't even look at me. I knew he was a bit dissapointed.

"Hiya Ste. I'm tired." Amy gave me a warning look. Then she got up and left us alone.

I sat next to him. Near."Alright?" I said and I laid my hand on his tigh seductively. I wanted to make it up to him, I quess. But he was still focused on TV. So I decided to shut up for a bit, to give him some time to cool things. After a few minutes I couldn't stand his frozen face though. "I had to stay longer at work you know…but I missed you" I tried again and he sighed. At least I got some reaction from him. I thought that was a good moment to make up so I leant for a light kiss. He closed his eyes for a moment and he looked me in the eyes finally.

"I called." He said.

"I know" I dipped my head.

"Why didn't you answer?" he insisted and I literally felt a sweat on my back.

"I told you, I had to stay until late. I was very busy." I said gently stroking the back of his neck. " I'm sorry" I whispered. That was the only honest thing I said to him that evening. Indeed I was really sorry. For everything I've done. For sleeping with Brendan. For lying to him.

"Looks like you don't have enough time recently." He said and got up.

"And what that was supposed to mean?" I got up too.

"Nothing." He stood back to me. He put his palms on his neck. "Recently, you act…differently."

"I'm not!" I assured him with a smirk in my voice. "Stop being silly. It's just your imagination Ally." He still looked unconvinced so I took a few steps forward to hug him and kiss him. To assure him that everything was okay. That we were fine. And he let me. It made me happy because I really cared for him. I did. I really did.

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><p>After Stephen left my flat I decided I had to do something. Something distracting. Just something to stop thinking about him all the time. It was…painful. Like a chalk on the board.<p>

So next day I thought about casino. I aways liked going there. I took a shower, get dressed my red shirt and smooth my tash. I was ready to go.

At the casino…it was fun. Yeah. I won some money. But it was't that what was so exciting about it, was it? I stood next to the roullete table when I saw him. He was shorter than me and blonde. At first I only glanced at him but then I noticed he was staring at me all the time so I took my chance. I drank what was left in my glass and gave him "the look" to follow me to the men room. He got it immidiately and when he entered inside I knew he was more than up for it. He was still staring at me as I was washing my hands. I moved towards him until I was very near…he's got blue eyes. Now I was more than up for it, too. He entered to the cubicle first and then he was the first to kiss me and blew me. I fucked him. I finshed with him and went out. I didn't look behind me. I left the casino and get back home.

Yeah, that was definitely distracting.


	3. Chapter 3

**As requested I deliver next chapter. :)**** Enjoy.**

I woke up first this morning. I went out to the kitchen leaving Ally alone in bed. He deserved to rest a bit. Recently, he worked very hard. Additionally, he's got a boyfriend who has cheated on him…It's good he doesn't know that, I quess. I'm not telling him because I care about him and I don't want him to suffer, right? Besides, is it worth to say the truth just to feel a bit better for a moment? It's better this way…

"You're up already?" Ally entered the kitchen unexpectedly

"Yeah, I made a breakfast." I smiled and kissed him. "Sit down." I hurried him up because I wanted to spent some time together untill the kids wake up and demand all the kitchen for themselves.

"So, are you getting back home today…or just late?" Ally tried to joke about our yesterday argument.

"What? Yeah, very funny." I wasn't really in the mood so I gave him a grin but inside I felt awful. So gilty. We ate the breakfast and everything seemed to go alright. Everything seemed to be perfect. It was. I wasn't perfect but what we had with Ally was. He was good for me, for my kids. He was nice, reliable, caring, good-looking. I couldn't destroy it just like that. I wanted us to have a future together, buld something together. I wanted to have something important with someone. Not a fling, not just occassional sex. I want to have a family, a home, people who'd love me and I'd love them back. I need to keep away from Brendan. I can't make the same mistakes as always and the best way to avoid them is to avoid Brendan as well.

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><p>Today I woke up earlier than Cheryl. I heard her taking shower so I left her some fry up on the table and went out to the club. I bumped on someone as I was walking downstairs…It was him, my last-night-fuck from casino.<p>

"Here you are!" Apparently he was glad to see me again. Although I didn't get how he found me. Actually I wasn't interested so after starring at him I just made my way to the club leaving him without any explanation.

"Hey…" He still demanded my attention. "I just wanted to give it back" He pulled some money out from his wallet. I quess I left him a few notes yesterday after we…have done the deed. "I don't know why did you leave it, but I'm not like that." He said.

"Of course you're not." I started to unlock the club's door hoping he's going to go or disappear but no…he stayed. "Look mate, I just wanted to share with you my yesterday winning, that's all. Alright? Good, now go." I entered leaving him outside the club.

"Do I really deserve to be treated like that?" He followed my inside. I had enough. I stopped to face him.

"Why don't you just get lost? Drop dead or something?" I sighed. "Go away!" I said eventually.

"Alright, alright…I'm going now. I thought you'd like to see me…" He started to chat and I hate it.

"Shut up mate. What's your name?" I asked him.

"Paul"

"Look Paul, I don't want to see you, I don't want to listen to you, I don't want to…Just get the fuck out of here, will you?"

"Yeah, it was a mistake coming over here." He said firmly.

"At least one thing we both agree at. See you…never." I smirked and went to my office.

I closed the door and sit down on my chair thinking, working, thinking, doing some paperwork and thinking again…how am I suppose to get over Stephen if I don't try with someone else, ehh?…

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><p>Today I got back home normally. As normally, not late, just properly in time. Ally was happy. He looked like it anyway.<p>

"Something smells good." I undressed from my jacket. "You made a supper?"

"Yes, I thought, it'd be nice to spent some time together." Ally took my hand and led me to the couch. We settled on it eating and watching tv.

"It's nice, isn't?" he asked and I just grinned at him " Like at the beginning. You remember?"

"Yeah. I do. " I said quietly. It was true. The beginning of our relationship was the best part of it. We enjoyed each other and had a lot of laugh together or we could just sitting like that watching television and that was okay, too. We were never bored.

"Maybe, we should do this more often." Ally removed the plate from my hand and stroke my neck.

"Why not?" I smiled and he leant for a light kiss. Then another and another. Finally we went to the bedroom.

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><p>Today I got back home first. That's unusual. Cheryl was out, Lynsey was out. I quess, they need their distractions, too. I made myself a supper and ate it in front of tv. Alone but I didn't care. I was alone, so what? I starred at tv blankly. I sighed and…I never sigh. I got up. I was washing my dishes when the door opened and the girls started to chat about how they spent their evening.<p>

"Sorry ladies, I'm not the best company today so I'll go to sleep. I'm knackered." I excused myself.

It's not like I can't have anyone else but him. I can. I know I can. I just don't know if I can fall for someone else. I never thought about it before. I never had to, never wanted to…But maybe that's what I need.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope this quick update makes up just a little bit for waiting so long for the other ones.**

"What's wrong with you?" Cheryl put her hand on my arm when she entered the kitchen. I was sittinig on my own drinking my coffee and reading fresh newspaper. Actually I liked it. Being on my own. It felt easier. Didn't have to pretend anything for anyone. I could be simply myself.

"Hmm? I'm fine, why?" I said while I was getting up and finishing my cup of coffee. See, I was pretending I didn't know what she was talking about. As always. She didn't need me moaning about my problems.

"Well, yesterday…" She started to explain but I didn't give her a chance because I was already closing the door behind me.

"See you!" I said to end it.

I went to the club, checking things, delivers, bottles, glasses. People in, people out…Finally I felt a bit tired so I collapsed on one of the couches slightly closing my eyes. I relaxed. "That's… nice." I murmured to myself enjoing my free time. I didn't expect anyone to come over. And there he was standing in front of me. Thought it could be some illusion or my imagination…

"Here you are." He said and then I knew…

"So you're real? Real Stephen? Just for me?" I asked playfully because this small nap put me in a good mood.

"Yeah, yeah I'm real." He answered low. He looked worried.

"So what can I do for you, Stephen?" I opened my eyes fully to see him better. It was always nice to look at him. Doesn't matter if he was happy or angry or even scared. He and his perfect facial features. There was always something interesting in his face, in his body language. In fact I could watching him without any concret purpose for hours. And I did. Many times. Although it was much easier when he was working here.

"It's nice you ask." Now he was angry at me. "I want you to stay away from me. You hear me?" And now he made me angry at him, too.

"Say if I'm wrong…But it is not you in my club not the other way round?" I got up from the couch in one fast move and faced him. Honestly, what was that all about?

"Don't play dumb. I know what you're planning? But you know what? Forget about it. I'm not leaving my boyfriend, is that clear?" He almost whispered the last sentence into my face.

"Oh. You mean…You still think about it? Really?" I pulled my face in disbelief to put him over the edge, to punish him for treating me like this.

"Very funny…" He rolled his eyes. "I don't want Ally to find out…" He dipped his head in embarressment.

"…that we slept together?" I finished his sentence but it made him furious.

"Shut up!"

"I can shut up. It's not going to change it though." I said and made my way to my office. I wanted him to go, to leave and never come back here again. Of course instead he followed me inside. He leant over my desk looking me in the eyes.

"Look Brendan, if you ever cared for me at least a bit, let me be happy. Please."

"I didn't make a fuss with your boyfriend, did I?" I gritted my teeth.

"For now…" He said unsure.

"Not now, not ever….Go." I busied myself with some papers that were on my desk. He didn't look convinced or satisfy with my promise and still stood in front of me. " Go." I repeated and he finally left. I exhaled the air that was strangely blocked in my lungs.

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><p>I left the club disorientated. I thought Brendan could not surprise me anymore but he acted different. He even talked different. And he felt more like stranger, not like…he used to. Maybe he really meant to keep away from Ally and me. Or maybe it's yet another sick little game he like to play so much at. I had to be careful with him. I needed to protect Ally from Brendan.<p>

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><p>I spent evening with my glass in one hand leaning over the bar. There was a proper crowd today. I haven't seen so many faces since last New Year Party. I was trying to get myself into the office when that really fat guy blocked my way.<p>

"Excuse me." I started like a gentelman…The guy didn't hear me or something. Anyway he was getting on my nerves.

"Hey!" I shouted to his ear so everyone who was near heard me very well even though the music was still loud. The chubby boy made me a place but then I saw my casino-fuck-date and I stopped to watch him. He was dancing with some random. Apparently enjoying his companion. At least that was what I deducted from the fluffy looks thay gave each other. I was contemplating the ridicoulsness they were making of themselves when he looked me straight in the eyes. I frowned and got inside my office.

I came out when almost everyone left the club. I poured myself a bit of whiskey.

"Thought you'd join us eventually but you seemed to gone in that office for good."

"What?" I asked surprised someone was still inside. I wasn't surprised very much though. I knew who said it. Knew this voice already. "Thought this time at night you'd enjoy your delightful company. Instead you prefer to waste your time here talking to me." I reflected.

"I quess, you were wrong." He ducked his head to the side. We stared at each other for a few moments. Then I rounded the bar and put my glass in front of him.

"Fancy a drink?" I noticed he was shorter than me and a bit muscled.

"I got enough, thanks."

" Good." I whispered to his mouth. He's got a puzzeled face. Then I took my glass and made my way back to the office. I stopped when I opened the door. "Coming?" I asked him and he decided pretty fast to come inside. I closed the door behind him very carefully. I sat on my chair with my glass. After I drank everything I put it on the floor. Because the desk would be occuppied anyway, wouldn't it?

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><p>Home and bed. These things were the only ones in my mind. Well, not exactly only ones but still I needed them. Sometimes when I got really confused I didn't know if I actually needed Brendan or he was just on my mind like some sick obsession refusing to leave. Right now I wasn't sure of anything but I had certain one thing. Brendan still was in my head like a virus, like a disgusting bug, like a stubborn fly on top of my nose. I hated every bit of it but that was the truth.<p>

Reluctantly I slicked under the covers of my bed where Ally seemed to sleep already. I came back home late, again.

"You're back?" I heard his quiet question.

"Yeah, I am. Sleep." I tried not to disturb him with my moves. I didn't want him to try it on with me. Not tonight.


End file.
